Who lives in my attic? Why, Al Gore does, of course!

So the night before last, Logan and I talked until 4:30 AM. About what? Al Gore, of course. But not just anything about Al Gore — no, this was about Al Gore as he really is. Living in an attic. Specifically, my attic.

Al Gore. Imagine this guy as a zombie-mime-tattoo artist. Seriously. Terrifying.

I told Logan about how my attic sometimes opens on its own without explanation. I’ve tested the springs on the door, the ladder, tried various forces in order to move it down…it would take quite a bit of force to move it, especially with such control, and a shift in pressure doesn’t seem to be a plausible cause.

Hemnes mirror, Ikea $99

So what does Logan do? Play the comforting male, of course. He tells me that someone is probably living in my attic. And what do I do? Freak out as soon as the old house creaks again. Not only that, my mother and father just bought me a 65″ mirror to put over my dresser. But it’s so large that I can’t put it up on my own, so it’s leaning up against the wall opposite the foot of my bed. I’m not used to it being there, so I naturally flipped out when I saw this figure moving around near the foot of my bed. It took my a minute to realize it was me.

To make things worse, my bedroom door hadn’t closed properly and slowly swung open…so that figure at the foot of my bed leaped up at the same time I did! I panicked, dove across the bed to my door, slammed it shut, then whirled around to face the figure that wasn’t there anymore. Let’s just say that it took me quite a while to relax.

Then we build on Al Gore. It’s not just that Al Gore lives in my attic…he’s also a zombie. Not only that, he’s a zombie clown — no! He’s a zombie mime! Far worse than a clown! And he has hair that’s like straw dipped in french fry grease! And he steals Adam’s boxers and watches him in the shower! This was by far the most disturbing conversation that I’ve ever enjoyed. Yes. Enjoyed. But now I’m scared of my attic.

Now, Logan’s required to come exterminate Al Gore. We also have a list of things he should do/places he should visit. He moved to Houston a year ago in February from Louisiana and still hasn’t done some necessary things.

Galveston @ sunset
1.) Remove Al Gore from my attic
2.) Go to Galveston
3.) Go to Galveston’s historic district and ride the trolley
4.) Go to a concert at one of the large venues here
5.) Texas Rodeo
6.) Go to the watch shop
7.) Go bowling
8.) Visit the Museum of Natural Science
9.) Fine Arts Museum
10.) Holocaust Museum. I just added this one on, because I feel it’s necessary.
11.) See Guy Forsyth
12.) Go to the House of Blues
13.) Go to the Improv

Mhmm. It might take a while, but we’ll knock all of those off at some point.

Then, last night, I was falling asleep on the phone…then woke up at 7 AM with the phone still in my hand. When I got to work today, we had the following conversation:

elliebeamarie: i don’t remember the end of our conversation.
elliebeamarie: Good morning, by the way. :]
Logan: Good morning to you too
elliebeamarie: Did you sleep well?
Logan: What do you remember
Logan: Yes, like a baby
elliebeamarie: Rambling, then sleeping.
Logan: Good, because you said some silly stuff hehe. Just kidding
elliebeamarie: Haha.
elliebeamarie: Do you remember hanging up?
Logan: I think so. I think you were snoring so I took it you were asleep
elliebeamarie: Hahahahahaaha.
elliebeamarie: Great.
Logan: Yup, you should blog it hehe. Oh yeah, you said something about blogging the now 11 places I have to go to, watch store included.
elliebeamarie: Plus Al Gore. I may do it over lunch.
elliebeamarie: …was I really snoring?
Logan: Maybe…hehe
elliebeamarie: Wow.
Logan: Wasn’t a loud snore though, a cute one.
elliebeamarie: But snoring!

Yes, world, snoring. This is the second person who’s confirmed that I snore. My face flushed red and I wanted my desk to swallow me, because I’m just that ridiculous. Mhmm.

The bad part of my morning so far? My family is getting together (all of us together for once!) for Thanksgiving. My dad just told me that he may have to work on Thanksgiving…and it sent me into a girly fit of tears. Yup. I sunk down in my big rolly chair and wished my desk would swallow me again. Who cries at work? I mean…seriously.

Anyway, I’ve got billing to do.

Elle

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2 Comments on “Who lives in my attic? Why, Al Gore does, of course!

  1. We’ll still figure out how to do Thanksgiving together any way. So, don’t cry. Instead, spend Saturday and Sunday with us (except while you are in class)…I get out of my class at 11 on Saturday and 12 on Sunday. I miss you!!!!!

    Like

  2. Actually I met Al Gore years ago. I can tell you he is not a zombie. However I did suspect that he was something other than human. An android perhaps?

    Like

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