…what was I talking about?

Since last night’s post, a few people have reached out to me to tell me that they’re very happy that I’ve recovered and/or that I’m an inspiration to them.

1.) THANK YOU to everyone who has read any of this blog, kept me in their thoughts, kept in contact with me, etc. This blog was meant to be a simple outlet and has turned into a way for me to communicate more easily to my family and friends, the difficulties and triumphs that have come my way over the past 2+ years.

2.) I can’t emphasize this enough: I have not recovered.

I can walk, and am learning to run without assistance. But my walk is awkward and gangly, my balance is terrible at best, the right side of my body has very noticeable and mostly uncontrollable tremors, my fine motor skills are very poor with my left hand and are far worse with my right hand, it’s still unsafe for me to swim laps or ride even my trike without a someone nearby, I still have 48% vision loss, my short term memory isn’t consistently trustworthy, and my long term memory is spotty at best. I have a long way to go. I have not recovered.

The reason I’m pointing these things out isn’t to diminish the amount of progress my brain and body have made. It’s much simpler then that. I don’t want to be a shock or disappointment when family or friends see me and realize how much I still struggle with simple tasks. I’m a pretty self conscious person, now more than ever.

I’ve screwed up since the stroke, big time. Whether I remember it or not. I’ve lost most of my friends, a lot of people’s trust (rightfully so, from what I’ve been told) and support, and my trust and confidence in myself. But all the support I’ve received along of the way has gotten me this far, and I’m learning to trust and rely on myself again; because of the gracious support I’ve received from all of you. More than anything, Adam has stuck by my side and carried me even when I didn’t realize I was leaning on him for support. Even when I was the most horrible person that I could have possibly been. It’s cliche, but I absolutely wouldn’t be where or who currently I am without him. Thank you, Adam.

I’ve gotten sidetracked — thanks, stroke-brain!

I have no idea where I was going with this post. Basically, thank you all so very much for being so supportive of me throughout this journey. What I hope that anyone reading this takes away from it is that you should never give up on yourself, on the people around you. People are precious. Don’t forget that.

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