I’m 5 years, 2 months and 2 days post-stroke. (Likely 5 years, 2 months and 3 days, by the time I finish writing this. It’s late.) 5 years. 5. That’s half a decade. Oy. 3 months and 4 days since I last updated this site. Sorry about that; I just wanted to step back for […]
Browsing YouTube earlier, as people do the day after Christmas (I guess?), I stumbled across the very last piece I learned to play as a performance major. I don’t know how I can remember it, but I do. The sheet music is tucked away in the vocal sheetmusic book I’d taken to Carnegie Hall ten years ago. I […]
1 year ago – Monday, May 16 2016 I waited, excited and nervous. Tomorrow. A burr hole will expose the surface of my brain for the very first time… tomorrow. Less than 24 hours. I don’t remember what I did that morning, or the days leading up to it. I know that I watched videos […]
8 years, 1 day, 8 hours ago (February 13, 2009, 01:something AM) I’m days from my 20th birthday and I have something that needs to be said before I lose the nerve to say it again. The way he forced me, then acted like he gave a damn when he found out about my baby […]
I slowly pushed my walker down the sidewalk, each step a careful consideration. My walker was helpful in more ways than I know how to describe. My hips were still incredibly weak and bumped against the sides of the walker with each step; something that had initially irritated me, but I had come to appreciate. […]
I didn’t record any videos today because I’m feeling sick and slept most of the day. So you get yesterday’s videos. Melly saying happy birthday to my mother yesterday, during the drive to the restaurant: There’s a Matchbox 20 song for this: And a couple of videos I found from 2014, 6-8 months post-stroke. During […]
So, I’m going through a pile of cards, papers, and notebooks accumulated during my stay at inpatient and during my time in the Challenge program at TIRR. I came across the very first thing I wrote after the stroke. Pics are below. Made me smile. I’ve come so far. Sometimes I forget. I don’t want […]
I’ve debated about posting a video taken just after the stroke, but here goes. *deep breath* First, a few pictures taken 22 days before the stroke: 20 days after the stroke: 2 years and 10 days after the stroke: It’s been interesting.
Today, I was thinking about all of you and how we won’t get to see you for a very, very long time, if ever at all. And you know what else doesn’t make sense? Even though all of you died in ways that I certainly wouldn’t want for myself, you were the lucky ones. You’re the ones that are somewhere else, somewhere far, far away from everything here. You’re not the ones who had to stick around and clean up all of the messes. You just made them while you were leaving. I’m not supposed to say that, either. You didn’t have to keep Iona’s secret, you didn’t have to sit through all of the funerals and wish that you’d gone to Jumps with Kerry more, or that you’d introduced Jennifer to your family….
The leather of the couch stuck to my legs as I shifted, pulled my feet beneath me and curling against the arm rest. I shivered slightly, sitting in the living room in my panties and t-shirt, my blanket having carelessly slipped away and down to the cold wooden floor. I stared aimlessly into the dark, […]