Category: Ramblings

• Peanut Butter and Nutella Sandwiches

  Quarantine hasn’t been kind to me. I take that back – I haven’t been kind to myself during quarantine. I’ve walked around the apartment and kept up with calisthenics… sometimes. I’ve gained 8lbs, which is no small amount for someone just under 5’2″. (Heads up, Lucas.) I should have and could have been consistent with…

  ellie

  May 2, 2020

  Ramblings, Random Posts, The Sixth Year, Updates

  #DespiteDisability, #LifeIsBeautiful, #NeverGiveUp, Coronavirus, COVID-19, H-Town, Houston, pandemic, quarantine, young adult stroke, Young stroke, young stroke survivor

• Missing out but it’s fine

  Today my Wednesday art class had a video chat lunch together, and I had been looking forward to it since Rafferty first mentioned it a week ago. But I must have needed a rest day today. I woke up late, again, and got ready. I washed my face and threw on the tiny bit of…

  ellie

  April 23, 2020

  Ramblings, Random Posts, The Sixth Year, The Stroke Story, Updates

  #DespiteDisability, #LifeIsBeautiful, #NeverGiveUp, ABI, acquired brain injury, anomia, aphasia, bipolar, bipolar disorder, bipolar II disorder, brain injury, brainstem stroke, depression, diagnosis, disability, generalized anxiety disorder, handicap, hardship, ischaemic stroke, ischemic stroke, life is beautiful, major depressive disorder, MDD, perspective, social issue, stigma, stroke, stroke recovery, TBI, The Stroke Story, young adult stroke, Young stroke, young stroke survivor, YSS

• Posting two days in a row?!

  I know, right? Who am I? Sleep was fitful last night. I’ve been sleeping through the night lately, but man, the dreams are odd. I’m thankful for the sleep, though. I still have strange nightmares and strange dreams but every now and then I’ll have one that’s so bizarre that I can’t help but hope…

  ellie

  April 14, 2020

  Ramblings, Random Posts, The Sixth Year, The Stroke Story, Updates, Writing

  #DespiteDisability, #LifeIsBeautiful, #NeverGiveUp, ABI, acquired brain injury, anomia, aphasia, bipolar, bipolar disorder, bipolar II disorder, brain injury, brainstem stroke, disability, life is beautiful, quarantine, Recovery, stroke, stroke recovery, The Stroke Story, young adult stroke, Young stroke, young stroke survivor, YSS

• To live now

  In Harris County, where I live, we’ve had thousands of COVID-19 cases. We’ve been under quarantine in Houston for weeks now, with the end of quarantine in either the near or distant future. I had surgery to replace my DBS battery last month, on a Thursday or Friday. By the time the weekend was over,…

  ellie

  April 13, 2020

  Ramblings, Random Posts, The Sixth Year, The Stroke Story, Updates

  #DespiteDisability, #LifeIsBeautiful, #NeverGiveUp, Coronavirus, COVID-19, pandemic, quarantine, stroke, stroke recovery, The Stroke Story, young adult stroke, Young stroke, young stroke survivor, YSS

• 7

  I’m 7 years old today. Technically not, of course, but my life started over 7 years ago today. It started with learning to breathe on my own, then rolling over. Then sitting up; crawling; motorized wheelchair; sitting unassisted; standing; walking with 3 people helping me, then one. Then a walker. Then a cane. Then nothing.…

  ellie

  November 2, 2019

  ataxia, Memories, Ramblings, The Seventh Year, Updates, Writing

  #DespiteDisability, #LifeIsBeautiful, #NeverGiveUp, ABI, ACA, Achilles International, Achilles International Houston, acquired ataxia, acquired brain injury, acquired cerebellar ataxia, anomia, aphasia, asphyxiation, ataxia, Ataxia & Fitness, bipolar, bipolar II disorder, bradycardia, bradycardic, brain injury, brain stem tremor, brain surgery, Brainstem, brainstem tremor, cardiac arrest, cardiomyopathy, cardiovascular event, cerebellar ataxia, cerebellar ataxia brain stem, cerebellar stroke, Cerebellum, depression, diagnosis, disability, GAD, generalized anxiety disorder, handicap, hardship, HCM, hemiparesis, hemiplegia, hypertrophic cardiomyopathy, In Memory, Intention tremor, ischaemic stroke, ischemic stroke, kinetic tremor, left hemisphere ischemia, life is beautiful, major depressive disorder, MDD, Memorial Hermann Hospital, operation, perspective, pneumonia, Recovery, seizure, social issue, Spinocerebellar Ataxia, stigma, stroke, stroke recovery, TBI, The Stroke Story, TIRR, trauma, Tremor, tremor disorder, visual field cut, young adult stroke, Young stroke, young stroke survivor, YSS

• #sorrynotsorry

  Our Father Who art in heaven Seriously? What the actual fuck. Sincerely, Tired-and-so-done-with-being-a-patient/room-number

  ellie

  July 28, 2019

  Ramblings, Random Posts, The Fifth Year

  #DespiteDisability, #LifeIsBeautiful, #NeverGiveUp, ABI, ACA, acquired ataxia, acquired brain injury, acquired cerebellar ataxia, anomia, aphasia, asphyxiation, ataxia, awake brain surgery, bipolar, bipolar disorder, bipolar II disorder, bradycardia, bradycardic, brain injury, brain stem tremor, brain surgery, Brainstem, brainstem stroke, brainstem tremor, cardiac arrest, cardiomyopathy, cardiovascular event, cerebellar ataxia, cerebellar ataxia brain stem, cerebellar stroke, Cerebellum, cerebral palsy, Claire Wineland, Cystic fibrosis, D&C, DBS, deep brain stimulation, depression, diagnosis, disability, FA, Friedreich’s Ataxia, GAD, generalized anxiety disorder, handicap, hemiparesis, hemiplegia, human trafficking, hurricane, hurricane Harvey, hypertrophic cardiomyopathy, ICD, implantable cardioverter defibrillator, In Memory, Intention tremor, ischaemic stroke, ischemic stroke, kinetic tremor, left hemisphere ischemia, LGBTQ, life is beautiful, major depressive disorder, MDD, Medtronic DBS, miscarriage, MRI, neuropsychiatrist, neuropsychiatry, operation, perspective, pneumonia, rape, Recovery, seizure, seizures, sexual abuse, slave trade, slavery, social issue, Spinocerebellar Ataxia, stigma, stroke, stroke recovery, surgery, TBI, The Stroke Story, trauma, Tremor, tremor disorder, visual field cut, young adult stroke, Young stroke, young stroke survivor

• 5

  

  I’m 5 years, 2 months and 2 days post-stroke. (Likely 5 years, 2 months and 3 days, by the time I finish writing this. It’s late.) 5 years. 5. That’s half a decade. Oy. 3 months and 4 days since I last updated this site. Sorry about that; I just wanted to step back for…

  ellie

  January 5, 2019

  ataxia, Memories, Photos, Ramblings, Random Posts, The Fifth Year, The Stroke Story, Updates

  #DespiteDisability, #LifeIsBeautiful, #NeverGiveUp, ABI, ACA, acquired ataxia, acquired brain injury, acquired cerebellar ataxia, anomia, aphasia, asphyxiation, ataxia, bipolar, bipolar disorder, bipolar II disorder, brain injury, brain stem tremor, brainstem stroke, brainstem tremor, cardiac arrest, cardiovascular event, cerebellar ataxia, cerebellar ataxia brain stem, cerebellar stroke, Cerebellum, deep brain stimulation, depression, diagnosis, disability, GAD, generalized anxiety disorder, H-Town, handicap, hemiparesis, hemiplegia, Houston, hypertrophic cardiomyopathy, ICD, Intention tremor, ischaemic stroke, ischemic stroke, kinetic tremor, left hemisphere ischemia, LGBTQ, life is beautiful, major depressive disorder, MDD, perspective, Recovery, seizure, seizures, social issue, stigma, stroke, stroke recovery, TBI, The Stroke Story, trauma, Tremor, tremor disorder, young adult stroke, Young stroke, young stroke survivor, YSS

• Journal entry #6 – neuropathy

  Three hours to go before my alarm will shout encouragement at me. I’m exhausted. No matter how exhausted I am, I have to stick with my morning workouts. Hemiparesis and spasticity don’t wait for me to be prepared. They show up, uninvited and unannounced, rudely staying until they decide to leave on a whim. Tiny…

  ellie

  April 23, 2018

  ataxia, Ramblings, Random Posts, The Fourth Year, The Stroke Story, Writing

  ABI, acquired ataxia, acquired brain injury, acquired cerebellar ataxia, anomia, aphasia, ataxia, brain injury, brain stem tremor, Brainstem, brainstem stroke, brainstem tremor, cardiomyopathy, cardiovascular event, cerebellar ataxia, cerebellar ataxia brain stem, cerebellar stroke, Cerebellum, depression, diagnosis, disability, hemiparesis, hypertrophic cardiomyopathy, ischemic stroke, kinetic tremor, left hemisphere ischemia, pneumonia

• It’s [already] been a long day… But it’ll get better. :)

  I don’t know what triggers me anymore. What’s wrong? Oh, nothing, really. I’m just anxious. Depressed. Broken. Angry. Tired. Bored. Busy. Aphasiac. Worthless. A burden. A hindrance. Frustrated. ‘Lazy’. Working my ass off to simply go check the mail. Tired. Useless. Stressed. Worried. Frustrated. (Yes, let’s list that one again.) I’m in everyone’s way, all…

  ellie

  March 21, 2018

  Ramblings, Random Posts, The Fourth Year, Updates

  ABI, acquired ataxia, acquired brain injury, acquired cerebellar ataxia, anomia, aphasia, ataxia, bipolar, bipolar II disorder, brain injury, Brainstem, brainstem stroke, cerebellar ataxia, cerebellar ataxia brain stem, cerebellar stroke, Cerebellum, depression, diagnosis, disability, GAD, generalized anxiety disorder, handicap, hemiparesis, hemiplegia, ischaemic stroke, ischemic stroke, left hemisphere ischemia, major depressive disorder, MDD, perspective, Recovery, stigma, stroke, stroke recovery, The Stroke Story, young adult stroke, Young stroke, young stroke survivor, YSS

• New batteries make my brain go ’round

  I squealed after setting my cell phone on the kitchen counter and excitedly bounced on my toes – while holding onto the counter, of course – for a moment, then turned to place my medicine bottles back in the cupboard above my head. It must seen strange, my looking forward to another surgery. Let me…

  ellie

  January 26, 2018

  ataxia, Ramblings, The Fourth Year, The Stroke Story, Uncategorized, Updates

  ABI, ACA, acquired ataxia, acquired brain injury, acquired cerebellar ataxia, anomia, aphasia, ataxia, awake brain surgery, bradycardia, bradycardic, brain injury, brain stem tremor, brain surgery, Brainstem, brainstem stroke, brainstem tremor, cardiomyopathy, cardiovascular event, cerebellar ataxia, cerebellar ataxia brain stem, cerebellar stroke, Cerebellum, DBS, deep brain stimulation, disability, Dr. Albert Fenoy, Dr. Mya Scheiss, handicap, hemiparesis, Houston Medical Center, hypertrophic cardiomyopathy, Intention tremor, ischaemic stroke, ischemic stroke, kinetic tremor, left hemisphere ischemia, Medtronic DBS, Memorial Hermann, Memorial Hermann Hospital, Mischer Neuroscience Institute, operation, Recovery, stroke, stroke recovery, surgery, The Stroke Story, Tremor, tremor disorder, young adult stroke, Young stroke, young stroke survivor, YSS