It's never been better

June 24, 2019

The fuck am I doing with my life?

January 5, 2019

5

I’m 5 years, 2 months and 2 days post-stroke. (Likely 5 years, 2 months and 3 days, by the time I finish writing this. It’s late.) 5 years. 5. That’s half a decade. Oy. 3 months and 4 days since I last updated this site. Sorry about that; I just wanted to step back for…

September 4, 2018

Thank you

The last time I did it to myself, I didn’t realize what I was doing until it was done, but I knew it was coming, and that whatever it was, it was about to happen. Adam noticed it while it was healing, showed me the below image, then ordered and surprised me with a set…

August 12, 2018

Harvey

Last night I remembered how scared, how alone I’d been during hurricane Harvey. Yeah, I’d busied myself with packing donations. That was before I’d realized I couldn’t get out of the apartment building, or that the atmospheric pressure changes had impacted me as they had. I’m embarrassed to have been so affected when others lived…

August 11, 2018

Journal entry #4

Tomorrow, I will be cheerful. Tomorrow, I will be positive. Tomorrow, I will have energy. Because today, I just can’t. Today I am hurting. Today, I am not okay. And that is perfectly fine. Just writing that made me smile. See? Already getting there. 🙂

June 10, 2018

Journal entry #8

This is too on point to not share. I’m very ugly So don’t try to convince me that I am a very beautiful person Because at the end of the day I hate myself in every way And I’m not going to lie to myself by saying There is beauty inside of me that matters…

May 17, 2018

#LifeIsBeautiful

We have no control over it, but what we do have control over is whether we can be proud of our own lives. I mean, that’s something we have complete say over – it’s kind of hard to even describe – I think I’m just as confused as everyone else on how to make our…

May 14, 2018

Journal entry #7

Have you ever been sitting around, doing whatever, and then suddenly and out of nowhere you feel… different, somehow? Sort of like you’ve been locked in your body for several years and you’ve just woken up, even though you’ve been conscious all those years, you’re suddenly… aware. Alive, again. This might seem odd but something…

April 23, 2018

Journal entry #6 – neuropathy

Three hours to go before my alarm will shout encouragement at me. I’m exhausted. No matter how exhausted I am, I have to stick with my morning workouts. Hemiparesis and spasticity don’t wait for me to be prepared. They show up, uninvited and unannounced, rudely staying until they decide to leave on a whim. Tiny…

March 21, 2018

It’s [already] been a long day… But it’ll get better. :)

I don’t know what triggers me anymore. What’s wrong? Oh, nothing, really. I’m just anxious. Depressed. Broken. Angry. Tired. Bored. Busy. Aphasiac. Worthless. A burden. A hindrance. Frustrated. ‘Lazy’. Working my ass off to simply go check the mail. Tired. Useless. Stressed. Worried. Frustrated. (Yes, let’s list that one again.) I’m in everyone’s way, all…