Tag: asphyxiation
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7
I’m 7 years old today. Technically not, of course, but my life started over 7 years ago today. It started with learning to breathe on my own, then rolling over. Then sitting up; crawling; motorized wheelchair; sitting unassisted; standing; walking with 3 people helping me, then one. Then a walker. Then a cane. Then nothing.…
ellie
#DespiteDisability, #LifeIsBeautiful, #NeverGiveUp, ABI, ACA, Achilles International, Achilles International Houston, acquired ataxia, acquired brain injury, acquired cerebellar ataxia, anomia, aphasia, asphyxiation, ataxia, Ataxia & Fitness, bipolar, bipolar II disorder, bradycardia, bradycardic, brain injury, brain stem tremor, brain surgery, Brainstem, brainstem tremor, cardiac arrest, cardiomyopathy, cardiovascular event, cerebellar ataxia, cerebellar ataxia brain stem, cerebellar stroke, Cerebellum, depression, diagnosis, disability, GAD, generalized anxiety disorder, handicap, hardship, HCM, hemiparesis, hemiplegia, hypertrophic cardiomyopathy, In Memory, Intention tremor, ischaemic stroke, ischemic stroke, kinetic tremor, left hemisphere ischemia, life is beautiful, major depressive disorder, MDD, Memorial Hermann Hospital, operation, perspective, pneumonia, Recovery, seizure, social issue, Spinocerebellar Ataxia, stigma, stroke, stroke recovery, TBI, The Stroke Story, TIRR, trauma, Tremor, tremor disorder, visual field cut, young adult stroke, Young stroke, young stroke survivor, YSS -
#sorrynotsorry
Our Father Who art in heaven Seriously? What the actual fuck. Sincerely, Tired-and-so-done-with-being-a-patient/room-number
ellie
#DespiteDisability, #LifeIsBeautiful, #NeverGiveUp, ABI, ACA, acquired ataxia, acquired brain injury, acquired cerebellar ataxia, anomia, aphasia, asphyxiation, ataxia, awake brain surgery, bipolar, bipolar disorder, bipolar II disorder, bradycardia, bradycardic, brain injury, brain stem tremor, brain surgery, Brainstem, brainstem stroke, brainstem tremor, cardiac arrest, cardiomyopathy, cardiovascular event, cerebellar ataxia, cerebellar ataxia brain stem, cerebellar stroke, Cerebellum, cerebral palsy, Claire Wineland, Cystic fibrosis, D&C, DBS, deep brain stimulation, depression, diagnosis, disability, FA, Friedreich’s Ataxia, GAD, generalized anxiety disorder, handicap, hemiparesis, hemiplegia, human trafficking, hurricane, hurricane Harvey, hypertrophic cardiomyopathy, ICD, implantable cardioverter defibrillator, In Memory, Intention tremor, ischaemic stroke, ischemic stroke, kinetic tremor, left hemisphere ischemia, LGBTQ, life is beautiful, major depressive disorder, MDD, Medtronic DBS, miscarriage, MRI, neuropsychiatrist, neuropsychiatry, operation, perspective, pneumonia, rape, Recovery, seizure, seizures, sexual abuse, slave trade, slavery, social issue, Spinocerebellar Ataxia, stigma, stroke, stroke recovery, surgery, TBI, The Stroke Story, trauma, Tremor, tremor disorder, visual field cut, young adult stroke, Young stroke, young stroke survivor -
5
I’m 5 years, 2 months and 2 days post-stroke. (Likely 5 years, 2 months and 3 days, by the time I finish writing this. It’s late.) 5 years. 5. That’s half a decade. Oy. 3 months and 4 days since I last updated this site. Sorry about that; I just wanted to step back for…
ellie
#DespiteDisability, #LifeIsBeautiful, #NeverGiveUp, ABI, ACA, acquired ataxia, acquired brain injury, acquired cerebellar ataxia, anomia, aphasia, asphyxiation, ataxia, bipolar, bipolar disorder, bipolar II disorder, brain injury, brain stem tremor, brainstem stroke, brainstem tremor, cardiac arrest, cardiovascular event, cerebellar ataxia, cerebellar ataxia brain stem, cerebellar stroke, Cerebellum, deep brain stimulation, depression, diagnosis, disability, GAD, generalized anxiety disorder, H-Town, handicap, hemiparesis, hemiplegia, Houston, hypertrophic cardiomyopathy, ICD, Intention tremor, ischaemic stroke, ischemic stroke, kinetic tremor, left hemisphere ischemia, LGBTQ, life is beautiful, major depressive disorder, MDD, perspective, Recovery, seizure, seizures, social issue, stigma, stroke, stroke recovery, TBI, The Stroke Story, trauma, Tremor, tremor disorder, young adult stroke, Young stroke, young stroke survivor, YSS -
Thank you
The last time I did it to myself, I didn’t realize what I was doing until it was done, but I knew it was coming, and that whatever it was, it was about to happen. Adam noticed it while it was healing, showed me the below image, then ordered and surprised me with a set…
ellie
#DespiteDisability, #LifeIsBeautiful, #NeverGiveUp, ABI, acquired ataxia, acquired brain injury, acquired cerebellar ataxia, aphasia, asphyxiation, ataxia, bipolar, bipolar disorder, bipolar II disorder, brain injury, brainstem stroke, cerebellar ataxia, cerebellar ataxia brain stem, cerebellar stroke, Cerebellum, DBS, deep brain stimulation, depression, diagnosis, disability, GAD, generalized anxiety disorder, handicap, hardship, hemiparesis, ischaemic stroke, ischemic stroke, left hemisphere ischemia, life is beautiful, major depressive disorder, MDD, Medtronic DBS, neuropsychiatry, perspective, Recovery, social issue, stigma, stroke, stroke recovery, The Stroke Story, trauma, young adult stroke, Young stroke, young stroke survivor, YSS -
Harvey
Last night I remembered how scared, how alone I’d been during hurricane Harvey. Yeah, I’d busied myself with packing donations. That was before I’d realized I couldn’t get out of the apartment building, or that the atmospheric pressure changes had impacted me as they had. I’m embarrassed to have been so affected when others lived…
ellie
#LifeIsBeautiful, ABI, acquired ataxia, acquired brain injury, acquired cerebellar ataxia, asphyxiation, ataxia, bipolar, bipolar disorder, bipolar II disorder, bradycardia, bradycardic, brain stem tremor, Brainstem, brainstem stroke, brainstem tremor, cardiac arrest, cardiomyopathy, cardiovascular event, cerebellar ataxia, cerebellar ataxia brain stem, cerebellar stroke, Cerebellum, depression, diagnosis, disability, GAD, generalized anxiety disorder, H-Town, handicap, hardship, hemiparesis, Houston, hurricane, hurricane Harvey, hypertrophic cardiomyopathy, Intention tremor, ischaemic stroke, ischemic stroke, kinetic tremor, left hemisphere ischemia, life is beautiful, major depressive disorder, MDD, neuropsychiatry, perspective, Recovery, seizure, seizures, stroke, stroke recovery, The Stroke Story, trauma, Tremor, tremor disorder, West University Place -
Journal entry #4
Tomorrow, I will be cheerful. Tomorrow, I will be positive. Tomorrow, I will have energy. Because today, I just can’t. Today I am hurting. Today, I am not okay. And that is perfectly fine. Just writing that made me smile. See? Already getting there. 🙂
ellie
ABI, acquired ataxia, acquired brain injury, acquired cerebellar ataxia, anomia, aphasia, asphyxiation, ataxia, bipolar, bipolar disorder, bipolar II disorder, bradycardia, bradycardic, brain injury, brain stem tremor, Brainstem, brainstem stroke, brainstem tremor, cardiac arrest, cardiomyopathy, cardiovascular event, cerebellar ataxia, cerebellar ataxia brain stem, cerebellar stroke, Cerebellum, cerebral palsy, depression, diagnosis, disability, generalized anxiety disorder, handicap, hardship, hemiparesis, hemiplegia, hypertrophic cardiomyopathy, ischaemic stroke, ischemic stroke, kinetic tremor, left hemisphere ischemia, major depressive disorder, MDD, miscarriage, perspective, pneumonia, rape, Recovery, seizure, seizures, sexual abuse, social issue, stigma, stroke, stroke recovery, TBI, The Stroke Story, trauma, Tremor, tremor disorder, young adult stroke, Young stroke, young stroke survivor, YSS -
Journal entry #7
Have you ever been sitting around, doing whatever, and then suddenly and out of nowhere you feel… different, somehow? Sort of like you’ve been locked in your body for several years and you’ve just woken up, even though you’ve been conscious all those years, you’re suddenly… aware. Alive, again. This might seem odd but something…
ellie
ABI, ACA, acquired ataxia, acquired brain injury, acquired cerebellar ataxia, anomia, aphasia, asphyxiation, ataxia, bipolar, bipolar disorder, bipolar II disorder, bradycardia, bradycardic, brain injury, brain stem tremor, Brainstem, brainstem stroke, brainstem tremor, cardiomyopathy, cardiovascular event, cerebellar ataxia, cerebellar ataxia brain stem, cerebellar stroke, Cerebellum, cerebral palsy, deep brain stimulation, depression, diagnosis, disability, generalized anxiety disorder, handicap, hemiparesis, hemiplegia, hypertrophic cardiomyopathy, Intention tremor, ischaemic stroke, ischemic stroke, kinetic tremor, left hemisphere ischemia, major depressive disorder, MDD, neuropsychiatry, perspective, Recovery, seizure, seizures, social issue, stigma, stroke, stroke recovery, TBI, The Stroke Story, trauma, Tremor, tremor disorder, visual field cut, young adult stroke, Young stroke, young stroke survivor, YSS -
Misremembering is better than forgetting
Remembering Grace, again. And again. This year, I thought it would be 9 years within the hour. Nope. It’ll be 9 years in 48 hours and 38 minutes. Memory difficulties suck. She’d be 8 this July. There’s too much to write. I’ll sleep on it. Thinking of you, Gracie. Always am. ❤
ellie
ABI, ACA, acquired ataxia, acquired brain injury, acquired cerebellar ataxia, anomia, aphasia, asphyxiation, ataxia, bipolar, bipolar disorder, bipolar II disorder, brain injury, brain stem tremor, Brainstem, brainstem stroke, brainstem tremor, cardiac arrest, cardiomyopathy, cardiovascular event, cerebellar ataxia, cerebellar ataxia brain stem, cerebellar stroke, Cerebellum, D&C, depression, diagnosis, disability, GAD, generalized anxiety disorder, handicap, hardship, hemiplegia, hypertrophic cardiomyopathy, Intention tremor, ischaemic stroke, ischemic stroke, left hemisphere ischemia, major depressive disorder, MDD, miscarriage, neuropsychiatry, operation, perspective, pregnancy, rape, Recovery, sexual abuse, stigma, stroke, stroke recovery, surgery, TBI, The Stroke Story, trauma, tremor disorder, young adult stroke, Young stroke, young stroke survivor, YSS -
I won’t quit
I stumble across the neverending desert, sand filling my shoes and rubbing skin from my ankles. Sunlight and heat glare and roast my tired body, and I continue to stumble forward, frustrated and angry. I’m just as aware of my unlikely survival as I am of the maggots wriggling while they eating away the pia mater covering…
ellie
acquired ataxia, acquired brain injury, acquired cerebellar ataxia, anomia, aphasia, asphyxiation, ataxia, bipolar, bipolar disorder, bipolar II disorder, bradycardia, brain injury, brain stem tremor, Brainstem, brainstem stroke, brainstem tremor, cardiovascular event, cerebellar ataxia, cerebellar ataxia brain stem, cerebellar stroke, depression, disability, GAD, generalized anxiety disorder, handicap, hemiparesis, hypertrophic cardiomyopathy, Intention tremor, ischaemic stroke, ischemic stroke, kinetic tremor, left hemisphere ischemia, major depressive disorder, MDD, neuropsychiatrist, neuropsychiatry, perspective, Recovery, seizure, seizures, sexual abuse, stroke, stroke recovery, TBI, The Stroke Story, trauma, tremor disorder, visual field cut, young adult stroke, Young stroke, young stroke survivor, YSS -
:)
Vertigo is kicking my butt today. I’m unable to turn my head and less I do it slowly, lest I want the sudden, overwhelming dizziness to attack. It doesn’t help that I’ve been instructed by one of my doctors to reduce a medication that has a side effect of vertigo, blurred vision and nausea during…
ellie
ABI, ACA, acquired ataxia, acquired brain injury, acquired cerebellar ataxia, anomia, aphasia, asphyxiation, ataxia, bipolar, bipolar disorder, bipolar II disorder, bradycardia, bradycardic, brain injury, brain stem tremor, brain surgery, Brainstem, brainstem stroke, brainstem tremor, cardiac arrest, cardiomyopathy, cardiovascular event, cerebellar ataxia, cerebellar ataxia brain stem, cerebellar stroke, Cerebellum, cerebral palsy, DBS, deep brain stimulation, depression, diagnosis, disability, GAD, generalized anxiety disorder, handicap, hardship, hemiparesis, hemiplegia, hypertrophic cardiomyopathy, Intention tremor, ischaemic stroke, ischemic stroke, kinetic tremor, left hemisphere ischemia, major depressive disorder, MDD, Medtronic DBS, Mischer Neuroscience Institute, MRI, neuropsychiatrist, neuropsychiatry, operation, perspective, Recovery, seizure, seizures, slavery, social issue, stigma, stroke, stroke recovery, TBI, The Stroke Story, trauma, Tremor, tremor disorder, young adult stroke, Young stroke, young stroke survivor, YSS
It's never been better 