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I have days when things get bad. When too much sensory input collides with my still-healing and forever-damaged brain. I hate these – those – days. I don’t hate it during them, though; I don’t anything them because I don’t feel anything about anything on those days; it’s peaceful, quiet, to feel nothing other than […]

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When hope is not enough

Action and reaction, cause and effect, dendritic output and neuronal necrosis – what, and to what effect? My body doesn’t obey, though it wants to. It has to want to. I need it to want to.  It doesn’t obey but that doesn’t matter anyway. Because I wasn’t born with it and didn’t inherit it, so […]

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Well, lookie there!

But I can write again, so yay!!! *feeling awesome*

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“I want to ride my bicycle”

I push and pull on my pedals quickly, but still rarely push past 81rpm. Slow. I shake my head slightly, avoiding wasting breath on a sigh. My goal is >90rpm. But that’s okay. Steven said it will come. Don’t focus on cadence just yet. I’m still learning to ride my upright trike. My speed on […]

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Videos: 3/20/16 – 3/21/16

I didn’t record any videos today because I’m feeling sick and slept most of the day. So you get yesterday’s videos. Melly saying happy birthday to my mother yesterday, during the drive to the restaurant: There’s a Matchbox 20 song for this: And a couple of videos I found from 2014, 6-8 months post-stroke. During […]

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Time to start over, again.

I sigh as my right hip buckles to the left, causing me to tip too far to the right. My right arm flaps for a moment, contrasting my left arm which remains steady as I reach it behind my left buttock to brace for the fall. My left leg shoots too far to the side […]

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Brain matters

The above is an image from a series of MRIs that were taken within days of the stroke. The dark grey area is the area that was affected by oxygen loss during the stroke. That area is now dormant or idling. Someone asked me to talk about the physical changes in my brain, so I’m […]

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