DBS | It's never been better

#sorrynotsorry

Posted on July 28, 2019 Leave a Comment

Our Father Who art in heaven Seriously? What the actual fuck. Sincerely, Tired-and-so-done-with-being-a-patient/room-number

Thank you

Posted on September 4, 2018 Leave a Comment

The last time I did it to myself, I didn’t realize what I was doing until it was done, but I knew it was coming, and that whatever it was, it was about to happen.

Adam noticed it while it was healing, showed me the below image, then ordered and surprised me with a set of non-toxic, skin-safe markers. Now I draw on myself…

We have no control over it, but what we do have control over is whether we can be proud of our own lives. I mean, that’s something we have complete say over – it’s kind of hard to even describe – I think I’m just as confused as everyone else on how to make our lives a piece of art, but I think that’s part of the joy – simply trying.

I can stand up here and genuinely tell you that I am genuinely proud of my life…

New batteries make my brain go ’round

Posted on January 26, 2018 Leave a Comment

I squealed after setting my cell phone on the kitchen counter and excitedly bounced on my toes – while holding onto the counter, of course – for a moment, then turned to place my medicine bottles back in the cupboard above my head. It must seen strange, my looking forward to another surgery. Let me […]

Journal entry #3

Posted on December 13, 2017 Leave a Comment

I’ve left the apartment three times in the last week and a half, maybe. Once to Jamie and Tim’s house to create characters for a new campaign *pushes glasses up nose*, and the other two times were probably something small; I don’t remember exactly what. My world currently consists of what’s contained inside of this 900 […]

:)

Posted on December 6, 2017 Leave a Comment

Vertigo is kicking my butt today. I’m unable to turn my head and less I do it slowly, lest I want the sudden, overwhelming dizziness to attack. It doesn’t help that I’ve been instructed by one of my doctors to reduce a medication that has a side effect of vertigo, blurred vision and nausea during […]

-364 days

Posted on May 16, 2017 Leave a Comment

1 year ago – Monday, May 16 2016 I waited, excited and nervous. Tomorrow. A burr hole will expose the surface of my brain for the very first time… tomorrow. Less than 24 hours. I don’t remember what I did that morning, or the days leading up to it. I know that I watched videos […]

The Quitter

Posted on May 10, 2017 Leave a Comment

Just have one more try. It’s dead easy to die, It’s the living on that’s hard. “The Quitter” by Robert Williams Service

Better Than New

Posted on March 31, 2017 Leave a Comment

After my last post, my friend, Elizabeth, wrote this to me: ‘Ellie if you are feeling broken, please remember the Japanese process of Kintsugi. Pottery that is broken is repaired with gold. It highlights that the mended repair is beautiful. It emphasizes beauty in the imperfect. Perfection is overrated. Your brain is wonderful just the […]