Archives
#sorrynotsorry
Posted on July 28, 2019 Leave a Comment
Our Father Who art in heaven Seriously? What the actual fuck. Sincerely, Tired-and-so-done-with-being-a-patient/room-number
5
Posted on January 5, 2019 2 Comments
I’m 5 years, 2 months and 2 days post-stroke. (Likely 5 years, 2 months and 3 days, by the time I finish writing this. It’s late.) 5 years. 5. That’s half a decade. Oy. 3 months and 4 days since I last updated this site. Sorry about that; I just wanted to step back for […]
Thank you
Posted on September 4, 2018 Leave a Comment
The last time I did it to myself, I didn’t realize what I was doing until it was done, but I knew it was coming, and that whatever it was, it was about to happen.
Adam noticed it while it was healing, showed me the below image, then ordered and surprised me with a set of non-toxic, skin-safe markers. Now I draw on myself…
Harvey
Posted on August 12, 2018 Leave a Comment
Last night I remembered how scared, how alone I’d been during hurricane Harvey. Yeah, I’d busied myself with packing donations. That was before I’d realized I couldn’t get out of the apartment building, or that the atmospheric pressure changes had impacted me as they had. I’m embarrassed to have been so affected when others lived […]
Journal entry #4
Posted on August 11, 2018 1 Comment
Tomorrow, I will be cheerful. Tomorrow, I will be positive. Tomorrow, I will have energy. Because today, I just can’t. Today I am hurting. Today, I am not okay. And that is perfectly fine. Just writing that made me smile. See? Already getting there. 🙂
#LifeIsBeautiful
Posted on May 17, 2018 Leave a Comment
We have no control over it, but what we do have control over is whether we can be proud of our own lives. I mean, that’s something we have complete say over – it’s kind of hard to even describe – I think I’m just as confused as everyone else on how to make our lives a piece of art, but I think that’s part of the joy – simply trying.
I can stand up here and genuinely tell you that I am genuinely proud of my life…
Journal entry #7
Posted on May 14, 2018 1 Comment
Have you ever been sitting around, doing whatever, and then suddenly and out of nowhere you feel… different, somehow? Sort of like you’ve been locked in your body for several years and you’ve just woken up, even though you’ve been conscious all those years, you’re suddenly… aware. Alive, again. This might seem odd but something […]
Journal entry #6 – neuropathy
Posted on April 23, 2018 1 Comment
Three hours to go before my alarm will shout encouragement at me. I’m exhausted. No matter how exhausted I am, I have to stick with my morning workouts. Hemiparesis and spasticity don’t wait for me to be prepared. They show up, uninvited and unannounced, rudely staying until they decide to leave on a whim. Tiny […]
It’s [already] been a long day… But it’ll get better. :)
Posted on March 21, 2018 3 Comments
I don’t know what triggers me anymore. What’s wrong? Oh, nothing, really. I’m just anxious. Depressed. Broken. Angry. Tired. Bored. Busy. Aphasiac. Worthless. A burden. A hindrance. Frustrated. ‘Lazy’. Working my ass off to simply go check the mail. Tired. Useless. Stressed. Worried. Frustrated. (Yes, let’s list that one again.) I’m in everyone’s way, all […]
Misremembering is better than forgetting
Posted on February 11, 2018 Leave a Comment
Remembering Grace, again. And again. This year, I thought it would be 9 years within the hour. Nope. It’ll be 9 years in 48 hours and 38 minutes. Memory difficulties suck. She’d be 8 this July. There’s too much to write. I’ll sleep on it. Thinking of you, Gracie. Always am. ❤
