Tag: GAD

• What it is to burn

  July 24, 2019 The confusion and my slowed heart rate made it hard for me to make sense of things. Stumbling into the living room, I called the Dr. Scheiss’ office. Dr. Scheiss’ nurse practitioner answered and I began telling her things – I don’t remember what things. Then it was the nurse practitioner, the […]

  ellie

  August 19, 2020

  Updates

  #DespiteDisability, #LifeIsBeautiful, #NeverGiveUp, anomia, aphasia, bipolar, bipolar disorder, bipolar II disorder, bradycardia, bradycardic, Cerebellum, DBS, deep brain stimulation, depression, disability, Dr. Mya Scheiss, GAD, generalized anxiety disorder, hardship, life is beautiful, major depressive disorder, MDD, Memorial Hermann, Memorial Hermann Hospital, seizure, seizures, stigma, Suicide, TIRR, trauma, young adult stroke, Young stroke, young stroke survivor, YSS

• *facepalm*

  I’ve made a mistake. It’s been six years, not 7. Fuck. By the way, get out and vote if you’re American.

  ellie

  November 5, 2019

  The Sixth Year, The Stroke Story

  #DespiteDisability, #LifeIsBeautiful, #NeverGiveUp, ABI, acquired ataxia, acquired brain injury, acquired cerebellar ataxia, aphasia, bipolar, bipolar disorder, bipolar II disorder, brain injury, Brainstem, brainstem stroke, brainstem tremor, cerebellar ataxia, cerebellar ataxia brain stem, cerebellar stroke, Cerebellum, diagnosis, disability, GAD, handicap, Intention tremor, ischaemic stroke, ischemic stroke, kinetic tremor, left hemisphere ischemia, life is beautiful, MDD, perspective, stroke, stroke recovery, The Stroke Story, young adult stroke, Young stroke, young stroke survivor, YSS

• 7

  I’m 7 years old today. Technically not, of course, but my life started over 7 years ago today. It started with learning to breathe on my own, then rolling over. Then sitting up; crawling; motorized wheelchair; sitting unassisted; standing; walking with 3 people helping me, then one. Then a walker. Then a cane. Then nothing. […]

  ellie

  November 2, 2019

  ataxia, Memories, Ramblings, The Seventh Year, Updates, Writing

  #DespiteDisability, #LifeIsBeautiful, #NeverGiveUp, ABI, ACA, Achilles International, Achilles International Houston, acquired ataxia, acquired brain injury, acquired cerebellar ataxia, anomia, aphasia, asphyxiation, ataxia, Ataxia & Fitness, bipolar, bipolar II disorder, bradycardia, bradycardic, brain injury, brain stem tremor, brain surgery, Brainstem, brainstem tremor, cardiac arrest, cardiomyopathy, cardiovascular event, cerebellar ataxia, cerebellar ataxia brain stem, cerebellar stroke, Cerebellum, depression, diagnosis, disability, GAD, generalized anxiety disorder, handicap, hardship, HCM, hemiparesis, hemiplegia, hypertrophic cardiomyopathy, In Memory, Intention tremor, ischaemic stroke, ischemic stroke, kinetic tremor, left hemisphere ischemia, life is beautiful, major depressive disorder, MDD, Memorial Hermann Hospital, operation, perspective, pneumonia, Recovery, seizure, social issue, Spinocerebellar Ataxia, stigma, stroke, stroke recovery, TBI, The Stroke Story, TIRR, trauma, Tremor, tremor disorder, visual field cut, young adult stroke, Young stroke, young stroke survivor, YSS

• #sorrynotsorry

  Our Father Who art in heaven Seriously? What the actual fuck. Sincerely, Tired-and-so-done-with-being-a-patient/room-number

  ellie

  July 28, 2019

  Ramblings, Random Posts, The Fifth Year

  #DespiteDisability, #LifeIsBeautiful, #NeverGiveUp, ABI, ACA, acquired ataxia, acquired brain injury, acquired cerebellar ataxia, anomia, aphasia, asphyxiation, ataxia, awake brain surgery, bipolar, bipolar disorder, bipolar II disorder, bradycardia, bradycardic, brain injury, brain stem tremor, brain surgery, Brainstem, brainstem stroke, brainstem tremor, cardiac arrest, cardiomyopathy, cardiovascular event, cerebellar ataxia, cerebellar ataxia brain stem, cerebellar stroke, Cerebellum, cerebral palsy, Claire Wineland, Cystic fibrosis, D&C, DBS, deep brain stimulation, depression, diagnosis, disability, FA, Friedreich’s Ataxia, GAD, generalized anxiety disorder, handicap, hemiparesis, hemiplegia, human trafficking, hurricane, hurricane Harvey, hypertrophic cardiomyopathy, ICD, implantable cardioverter defibrillator, In Memory, Intention tremor, ischaemic stroke, ischemic stroke, kinetic tremor, left hemisphere ischemia, LGBTQ, life is beautiful, major depressive disorder, MDD, Medtronic DBS, miscarriage, MRI, neuropsychiatrist, neuropsychiatry, operation, perspective, pneumonia, rape, Recovery, seizure, seizures, sexual abuse, slave trade, slavery, social issue, Spinocerebellar Ataxia, stigma, stroke, stroke recovery, surgery, TBI, The Stroke Story, trauma, Tremor, tremor disorder, visual field cut, young adult stroke, Young stroke, young stroke survivor

• 5

  

  I’m 5 years, 2 months and 2 days post-stroke. (Likely 5 years, 2 months and 3 days, by the time I finish writing this. It’s late.) 5 years. 5. That’s half a decade. Oy. 3 months and 4 days since I last updated this site. Sorry about that; I just wanted to step back for […]

  ellie

  January 5, 2019

  ataxia, Memories, Photos, Ramblings, Random Posts, The Fifth Year, The Stroke Story, Updates

  #DespiteDisability, #LifeIsBeautiful, #NeverGiveUp, ABI, ACA, acquired ataxia, acquired brain injury, acquired cerebellar ataxia, anomia, aphasia, asphyxiation, ataxia, bipolar, bipolar disorder, bipolar II disorder, brain injury, brain stem tremor, brainstem stroke, brainstem tremor, cardiac arrest, cardiovascular event, cerebellar ataxia, cerebellar ataxia brain stem, cerebellar stroke, Cerebellum, deep brain stimulation, depression, diagnosis, disability, GAD, generalized anxiety disorder, H-Town, handicap, hemiparesis, hemiplegia, Houston, hypertrophic cardiomyopathy, ICD, Intention tremor, ischaemic stroke, ischemic stroke, kinetic tremor, left hemisphere ischemia, LGBTQ, life is beautiful, major depressive disorder, MDD, perspective, Recovery, seizure, seizures, social issue, stigma, stroke, stroke recovery, TBI, The Stroke Story, trauma, Tremor, tremor disorder, young adult stroke, Young stroke, young stroke survivor, YSS

• Thank you

  

  The last time I did it to myself, I didn’t realize what I was doing until it was done, but I knew it was coming, and that whatever it was, it was about to happen. Adam noticed it while it was healing, showed me the below image, then ordered and surprised me with a set of non-toxic, skin-safe markers. Now I draw on myself…

  ellie

  September 4, 2018

  Random Posts, The Fourth Year, Tips, Updates

  #DespiteDisability, #LifeIsBeautiful, #NeverGiveUp, ABI, acquired ataxia, acquired brain injury, acquired cerebellar ataxia, aphasia, asphyxiation, ataxia, bipolar, bipolar disorder, bipolar II disorder, brain injury, brainstem stroke, cerebellar ataxia, cerebellar ataxia brain stem, cerebellar stroke, Cerebellum, DBS, deep brain stimulation, depression, diagnosis, disability, GAD, generalized anxiety disorder, handicap, hardship, hemiparesis, ischaemic stroke, ischemic stroke, left hemisphere ischemia, life is beautiful, major depressive disorder, MDD, Medtronic DBS, neuropsychiatry, perspective, Recovery, social issue, stigma, stroke, stroke recovery, The Stroke Story, trauma, young adult stroke, Young stroke, young stroke survivor, YSS

• Harvey

  Last night I remembered how scared, how alone I’d been during hurricane Harvey. Yeah, I’d busied myself with packing donations. That was before I’d realized I couldn’t get out of the apartment building, or that the atmospheric pressure changes had impacted me as they had. I’m embarrassed to have been so affected when others lived […]

  ellie

  August 12, 2018

  The Fourth Year, The Stroke Story

  #LifeIsBeautiful, ABI, acquired ataxia, acquired brain injury, acquired cerebellar ataxia, asphyxiation, ataxia, bipolar, bipolar disorder, bipolar II disorder, bradycardia, bradycardic, brain stem tremor, Brainstem, brainstem stroke, brainstem tremor, cardiac arrest, cardiomyopathy, cardiovascular event, cerebellar ataxia, cerebellar ataxia brain stem, cerebellar stroke, Cerebellum, depression, diagnosis, disability, GAD, generalized anxiety disorder, H-Town, handicap, hardship, hemiparesis, Houston, hurricane, hurricane Harvey, hypertrophic cardiomyopathy, Intention tremor, ischaemic stroke, ischemic stroke, kinetic tremor, left hemisphere ischemia, life is beautiful, major depressive disorder, MDD, neuropsychiatry, perspective, Recovery, seizure, seizures, stroke, stroke recovery, The Stroke Story, trauma, Tremor, tremor disorder, West University Place

• #LifeIsBeautiful

  We have no control over it, but what we do have control over is whether we can be proud of our own lives. I mean, that’s something we have complete say over – it’s kind of hard to even describe – I think I’m just as confused as everyone else on how to make our lives a piece of art, but I think that’s part of the joy – simply trying. I can stand up here and genuinely tell you that I am genuinely proud of my life…

  ellie

  May 17, 2018

  Random Posts, Videos

  #LifeIsBeautiful, ABI, ACA, acquired ataxia, acquired brain injury, acquired cerebellar ataxia, anomia, aphasia, ataxia, bipolar, bipolar disorder, bipolar II disorder, bradycardia, bradycardic, brain injury, brain surgery, Brainstem, brainstem stroke, brainstem tremor, cardiac arrest, cardiovascular event, cerebellar ataxia, cerebellar ataxia brain stem, cerebellar stroke, Cerebellum, cerebral palsy, Claire Wineland, Cystic fibrosis, DBS, deep brain stimulation, depression, diagnosis, disability, FA, Friedreich’s Ataxia, GAD, generalized anxiety disorder, handicap, HandiQueers, hemiparesis, hemiplegia, human trafficking, hypertrophic cardiomyopathy, ICD, implantable cardioverter defibrillator, In Memory, Intention tremor, ischaemic stroke, ischemic stroke, kinetic tremor, left hemisphere ischemia, LGBTQ, life is beautiful, major depressive disorder, MDD, miscarriage, NAF, National Ataxia Foundation, neuropsychiatry, operation, perspective, pneumonia, pregnancy, rape, Recovery, seizure, seizures, sexual abuse, slave trade, slavery, social issue, Spinocerebellar Ataxia, stigma, stroke, stroke recovery, surgery, TBI, The Stroke Story, trauma, Tremor, tremor disorder, visual field cut, young adult stroke, Young stroke, young stroke survivor, YSS

• It’s [already] been a long day… But it’ll get better. :)

  I don’t know what triggers me anymore. What’s wrong? Oh, nothing, really. I’m just anxious. Depressed. Broken. Angry. Tired. Bored. Busy. Aphasiac. Worthless. A burden. A hindrance. Frustrated. ‘Lazy’. Working my ass off to simply go check the mail. Tired. Useless. Stressed. Worried. Frustrated. (Yes, let’s list that one again.) I’m in everyone’s way, all […]

  ellie

  March 21, 2018

  Ramblings, Random Posts, The Fourth Year, Updates

  ABI, acquired ataxia, acquired brain injury, acquired cerebellar ataxia, anomia, aphasia, ataxia, bipolar, bipolar II disorder, brain injury, Brainstem, brainstem stroke, cerebellar ataxia, cerebellar ataxia brain stem, cerebellar stroke, Cerebellum, depression, diagnosis, disability, GAD, generalized anxiety disorder, handicap, hemiparesis, hemiplegia, ischaemic stroke, ischemic stroke, left hemisphere ischemia, major depressive disorder, MDD, perspective, Recovery, stigma, stroke, stroke recovery, The Stroke Story, young adult stroke, Young stroke, young stroke survivor, YSS

• Misremembering is better than forgetting

  Remembering Grace, again. And again. This year, I thought it would be 9 years within the hour. Nope. It’ll be 9 years in 48 hours and 38 minutes. Memory difficulties suck. She’d be 8 this July. There’s too much to write. I’ll sleep on it. Thinking of you, Gracie. Always am. ❤

  ellie

  February 11, 2018

  In Memory, The Fourth Year, The Stroke Story, Updates

  ABI, ACA, acquired ataxia, acquired brain injury, acquired cerebellar ataxia, anomia, aphasia, asphyxiation, ataxia, bipolar, bipolar disorder, bipolar II disorder, brain injury, brain stem tremor, Brainstem, brainstem stroke, brainstem tremor, cardiac arrest, cardiomyopathy, cardiovascular event, cerebellar ataxia, cerebellar ataxia brain stem, cerebellar stroke, Cerebellum, D&C, depression, diagnosis, disability, GAD, generalized anxiety disorder, handicap, hardship, hemiplegia, hypertrophic cardiomyopathy, Intention tremor, ischaemic stroke, ischemic stroke, left hemisphere ischemia, major depressive disorder, MDD, miscarriage, neuropsychiatry, operation, perspective, pregnancy, rape, Recovery, sexual abuse, stigma, stroke, stroke recovery, surgery, TBI, The Stroke Story, trauma, tremor disorder, young adult stroke, Young stroke, young stroke survivor, YSS