Tag: sexual abuse

• #sorrynotsorry

  Our Father Who art in heaven Seriously? What the actual fuck. Sincerely, Tired-and-so-done-with-being-a-patient/room-number

  ellie

  July 28, 2019

  Ramblings, Random Posts, The Fifth Year

  #DespiteDisability, #LifeIsBeautiful, #NeverGiveUp, ABI, ACA, acquired ataxia, acquired brain injury, acquired cerebellar ataxia, anomia, aphasia, asphyxiation, ataxia, awake brain surgery, bipolar, bipolar disorder, bipolar II disorder, bradycardia, bradycardic, brain injury, brain stem tremor, brain surgery, Brainstem, brainstem stroke, brainstem tremor, cardiac arrest, cardiomyopathy, cardiovascular event, cerebellar ataxia, cerebellar ataxia brain stem, cerebellar stroke, Cerebellum, cerebral palsy, Claire Wineland, Cystic fibrosis, D&C, DBS, deep brain stimulation, depression, diagnosis, disability, FA, Friedreich’s Ataxia, GAD, generalized anxiety disorder, handicap, hemiparesis, hemiplegia, human trafficking, hurricane, hurricane Harvey, hypertrophic cardiomyopathy, ICD, implantable cardioverter defibrillator, In Memory, Intention tremor, ischaemic stroke, ischemic stroke, kinetic tremor, left hemisphere ischemia, LGBTQ, life is beautiful, major depressive disorder, MDD, Medtronic DBS, miscarriage, MRI, neuropsychiatrist, neuropsychiatry, operation, perspective, pneumonia, rape, Recovery, seizure, seizures, sexual abuse, slave trade, slavery, social issue, Spinocerebellar Ataxia, stigma, stroke, stroke recovery, surgery, TBI, The Stroke Story, trauma, Tremor, tremor disorder, visual field cut, young adult stroke, Young stroke, young stroke survivor

• Journal entry #4

  Tomorrow, I will be cheerful. Tomorrow, I will be positive. Tomorrow, I will have energy. Because today, I just can’t. Today I am hurting. Today, I am not okay. And that is perfectly fine. Just writing that made me smile. See? Already getting there. 🙂

  ellie

  August 11, 2018

  Updates

  ABI, acquired ataxia, acquired brain injury, acquired cerebellar ataxia, anomia, aphasia, asphyxiation, ataxia, bipolar, bipolar disorder, bipolar II disorder, bradycardia, bradycardic, brain injury, brain stem tremor, Brainstem, brainstem stroke, brainstem tremor, cardiac arrest, cardiomyopathy, cardiovascular event, cerebellar ataxia, cerebellar ataxia brain stem, cerebellar stroke, Cerebellum, cerebral palsy, depression, diagnosis, disability, generalized anxiety disorder, handicap, hardship, hemiparesis, hemiplegia, hypertrophic cardiomyopathy, ischaemic stroke, ischemic stroke, kinetic tremor, left hemisphere ischemia, major depressive disorder, MDD, miscarriage, perspective, pneumonia, rape, Recovery, seizure, seizures, sexual abuse, social issue, stigma, stroke, stroke recovery, TBI, The Stroke Story, trauma, Tremor, tremor disorder, young adult stroke, Young stroke, young stroke survivor, YSS

• #LifeIsBeautiful

  We have no control over it, but what we do have control over is whether we can be proud of our own lives. I mean, that’s something we have complete say over – it’s kind of hard to even describe – I think I’m just as confused as everyone else on how to make our lives a piece of art, but I think that’s part of the joy – simply trying. I can stand up here and genuinely tell you that I am genuinely proud of my life…

  ellie

  May 17, 2018

  Random Posts, Videos

  #LifeIsBeautiful, ABI, ACA, acquired ataxia, acquired brain injury, acquired cerebellar ataxia, anomia, aphasia, ataxia, bipolar, bipolar disorder, bipolar II disorder, bradycardia, bradycardic, brain injury, brain surgery, Brainstem, brainstem stroke, brainstem tremor, cardiac arrest, cardiovascular event, cerebellar ataxia, cerebellar ataxia brain stem, cerebellar stroke, Cerebellum, cerebral palsy, Claire Wineland, Cystic fibrosis, DBS, deep brain stimulation, depression, diagnosis, disability, FA, Friedreich’s Ataxia, GAD, generalized anxiety disorder, handicap, HandiQueers, hemiparesis, hemiplegia, human trafficking, hypertrophic cardiomyopathy, ICD, implantable cardioverter defibrillator, In Memory, Intention tremor, ischaemic stroke, ischemic stroke, kinetic tremor, left hemisphere ischemia, LGBTQ, life is beautiful, major depressive disorder, MDD, miscarriage, NAF, National Ataxia Foundation, neuropsychiatry, operation, perspective, pneumonia, pregnancy, rape, Recovery, seizure, seizures, sexual abuse, slave trade, slavery, social issue, Spinocerebellar Ataxia, stigma, stroke, stroke recovery, surgery, TBI, The Stroke Story, trauma, Tremor, tremor disorder, visual field cut, young adult stroke, Young stroke, young stroke survivor, YSS

• Misremembering is better than forgetting

  Remembering Grace, again. And again. This year, I thought it would be 9 years within the hour. Nope. It’ll be 9 years in 48 hours and 38 minutes. Memory difficulties suck. She’d be 8 this July. There’s too much to write. I’ll sleep on it. Thinking of you, Gracie. Always am. ❤

  ellie

  February 11, 2018

  In Memory, The Fourth Year, The Stroke Story, Updates

  ABI, ACA, acquired ataxia, acquired brain injury, acquired cerebellar ataxia, anomia, aphasia, asphyxiation, ataxia, bipolar, bipolar disorder, bipolar II disorder, brain injury, brain stem tremor, Brainstem, brainstem stroke, brainstem tremor, cardiac arrest, cardiomyopathy, cardiovascular event, cerebellar ataxia, cerebellar ataxia brain stem, cerebellar stroke, Cerebellum, D&C, depression, diagnosis, disability, GAD, generalized anxiety disorder, handicap, hardship, hemiplegia, hypertrophic cardiomyopathy, Intention tremor, ischaemic stroke, ischemic stroke, left hemisphere ischemia, major depressive disorder, MDD, miscarriage, neuropsychiatry, operation, perspective, pregnancy, rape, Recovery, sexual abuse, stigma, stroke, stroke recovery, surgery, TBI, The Stroke Story, trauma, tremor disorder, young adult stroke, Young stroke, young stroke survivor, YSS

• I won’t quit

  

  I stumble across the neverending desert, sand filling my shoes and rubbing skin from my ankles. Sunlight and heat glare and roast my tired body, and I continue to stumble forward, frustrated and angry. I’m just as aware of my unlikely survival as I am of the maggots wriggling while they eating away the pia mater covering […]

  ellie

  December 11, 2017

  Random Posts, The Fourth Year, The Stroke Story, Writing

  acquired ataxia, acquired brain injury, acquired cerebellar ataxia, anomia, aphasia, asphyxiation, ataxia, bipolar, bipolar disorder, bipolar II disorder, bradycardia, brain injury, brain stem tremor, Brainstem, brainstem stroke, brainstem tremor, cardiovascular event, cerebellar ataxia, cerebellar ataxia brain stem, cerebellar stroke, depression, disability, GAD, generalized anxiety disorder, handicap, hemiparesis, hypertrophic cardiomyopathy, Intention tremor, ischaemic stroke, ischemic stroke, kinetic tremor, left hemisphere ischemia, major depressive disorder, MDD, neuropsychiatrist, neuropsychiatry, perspective, Recovery, seizure, seizures, sexual abuse, stroke, stroke recovery, TBI, The Stroke Story, trauma, tremor disorder, visual field cut, young adult stroke, Young stroke, young stroke survivor, YSS

• Better Than New 

  After my last post, my friend, Elizabeth, wrote this to me: ‘Ellie if you are feeling broken, please remember the Japanese process of Kintsugi. Pottery that is broken is repaired with gold. It highlights that the mended repair is beautiful. It emphasizes  beauty in the imperfect. Perfection  is overrated. Your brain is wonderful just the […]

  ellie

  March 31, 2017

  The Third Year, Tips

  ABI, acquired brain injury, anomia, aphasia, ataxia, awake brain surgery, bradycardia, bradycardic, brain injury, brain stem tremor, brain surgery, Brainstem, brainstem stroke, brainstem tremor, cardiac arrest, cardiomyopathy, cardiovascular event, cerebellar ataxia, cerebellar ataxia brain stem, cerebellar stroke, Cerebellum, cerebral palsy, DBS, deep brain stimulation, depression, disability, FA, Friedreich’s Ataxia, handicap, hemiparesis, hemiplegia, hypertrophic cardiomyopathy, implantable cardioverter defibrillator, Intention tremor, ischaemic stroke, ischemic stroke, kinetic tremor, left hemisphere ischemia, LGBTQ, miscarriage, MRI, operation, pneumonia, pregnancy, rape, Recovery, seizure, seizures, sexual abuse, Spinocerebellar Ataxia, stroke, stroke recovery, surgery, TBI, The Stroke Story, trauma, Tremor, tremor disorder, visual field cut, young adult stroke, Young stroke, young stroke survivor, YSS

• Remembering Grace, again 

  8 years, 1 day, 8 hours ago (February 13, 2009, 01:something AM) I’m days from my 20th birthday and I have something that needs to be said before I lose the nerve to say it again. The way he forced me, then acted like he gave a damn when he found out about my baby […]

  ellie

  February 15, 2017

  Memories, The Stroke Story, The Third Year, Updates

  ABI, acquired brain injury, aphasia, ataxia, brain injury, Brainstem, brainstem stroke, brainstem tremor, cerebellar ataxia, cerebellar ataxia brain stem, cerebellar stroke, Cerebellum, D&C, depression, disability, hemiparesis, Intention tremor, ischaemic stroke, ischemic stroke, kinetic tremor, left hemisphere ischemia, miscarriage, operation, pregnancy, rape, Recovery, sexual abuse, stroke, stroke recovery, The Stroke Story, trauma, Tremor, tremor disorder, young adult stroke, Young stroke, young stroke survivor, YSS